245 – My Name is ‘Misa’ -3-

-As Ricardo watches the reading.

I glanced surreptitiously at Mikhail’s eyes.

“What did you say…?”

Mikhail’s eyes, filled with confusion, soon began to harbor anger.

“How do you know that name?”

“Because I am that person…”

Mikhail said with a trembling voice.

“Shut up…”

Mikhail challenged, how could I possibly know a name from his hidden memories. He bellowed louder than when he had been hurt, revealing his emotions without restraint.

“Don’t you dare taint my memories with that filthy mouth.”

In the reading, I was wearing an awkward smile. With a look of not knowing what to do, I was clearly in distress.

It was the first time denying oneself as oneself.

Watching this, I too let out a bitter sigh and shook my head. To think that I was someone so precious to Mikhail.

I was just a friend to Mikhail, but I felt both grateful and awkward that he remembered me from his memories.

‘This must be tough for him.’

In the reading room, I spoke to Mikhail with a calm voice, as if nothing was amiss.

“I appreciate you remembering me like that.”

“Shut up.”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d still remember me.”

It seems I am still myself.

The same thoughts, too.

I let out a hollow laugh and shook my head.

There was something I had been curious about for a long time.

After revealing the truth to Mikhail, I wondered how he would see me.

A lifesaver who had once saved his life.

An old classmate, not seen in ages.

Honestly, I didn’t expect Mikhail to treat me warmly. By my standards, I wouldn’t remain a significant presence in his life. But that’s just what I thought.

More than anything, I was curious about my own reaction. Even I didn’t fully understand myself.

Whether I would laugh off the past with an open heart, or unleash my pent-up emotions at Mikhail… I wasn’t sure how I would react if that moment came.

In the reading room, I began to open my mouth, which had been firmly shut, as I glared at Mikhail, who looked like he wanted to kill me.

Given the situation, I was exhausted and spoke to Mikhail with an irritated tone.

“I did my best, but you seem to hate me so much, Mikhail.”

“…Who are you? Who told you that name?”

“Are we back to that again? Why can’t you believe what people say?”

“Speak.”

“Sigh…”

In the reading room, I began to pour out sharp words to Mikhail, who couldn’t believe me.

“I’ve done everything I could for you, Mikhail.”

“Don’t beat around the bush, speak plainly…”

“I tried to make sure you could grow up more comfortably and did my best not to cause you any harm.”

“…Ricardo!!!”

“I am…!!!”

As I slowly spat out the truth, Mikhail’s complexion began to turn pale.

“I was the one who tied up the archbishop’s feet in your stead that day…!”

“Please…”

“I was the one who steadfastly helped you when you were drifting away in the river, without ever hearing a word of thanks.”

“No… This is.”

“Why are you disappointed in me?”

Amidst the falling rain, I, within the reading, shouted at Mikhail. It seemed like I got carried away by my emotions. Foolishly so.

“Why is everything I do seen as showing off and wrong?”

“…No.”

“Do you hate me that much?”

“…”

“I, who have asked for nothing in return and only offered help…! I, who have been your friend since childhood, am I that detestable to you?”

“…That’s not it. I am…”

“What am I, exactly? I’ve been struggling to keep the promise I made to protect you since we were kids, worrying that you might be at the academy when it caught fire and rushing in. Why should I be called trash by you?”

I was pouring out my frustration to Mikhail in a desperate voice.

“Do you think I wanted to kill our friend and be called trash? I’m human too. A person who feels guilt. Of course, I’m trash, but still human.”

“…”

“Was it a crime to protect you from that guy you call a friend, who was plotting behind your back?”

“…Why.”

“Why did you do it?”

I, within the reading, overwhelmed with more resentment than I thought, began to pour out many words once the gates of conversation opened.

Misunderstandings.

I didn’t seem to think so on the surface, but I dug out the complaints festering from within and spat them out with clenched fists.

“Because I promised.”

“…”

“To keep that damn promise. To make you suffer less.”

“…”

“I hate you so much for hurting her, I want to hit you right now, but that’s the promise I made. Damn it… Keeping one’s word is a promise. I didn’t want to break it like that promise your mother made.”

“I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t know! Why do you only hate me?”

I looked at myself within the reading and smiled bitterly. I was grateful to have spoken so freely, but it wasn’t quite cool.

I bowed my head and muttered softly.

‘Isn’t that too harsh?’

Even as a lady.

“I don’t understand.”

I chuckled hollowly and nodded.

Mikhail stood silently, unable to utter a word. Tears streamed down his cheeks, already wetting the floor, and he couldn’t look me in the eye.

Sobbing, Mikhail reached out with trembling hands to grasp my sleeve.

“I… I am… I am”

“…”

“I’m the bad one. The one who deserves to die… So.”

In the reading room, I dodged Mikhail’s reaching hand and declared the end of our relationship. I cursed him, wanting no further entanglement, and poured out my resentment harshly towards him.

“Now, I no longer wish to be involved with you.”

“…Minhyuk!!!”

“Don’t call me.”

“…What?”

“Just like the words you said to me. Don’t call me with that mouth.”

“Ah… Ahh…”

Mikhail chased after me as I walked away.

Begging me not to go.

Even if he tripped over the pooled rainwater.

Even if the stares of the murmuring students were all directed at him.

Mikhail ran desperately to catch the ‘me’ in the reading room.

‘…’

I felt uneasy.

Seeing that figure didn’t bring me relief. Perhaps my thoughts had changed after learning Mikhail was a girl, but it was hard to watch the girl running so desperately and to ignore her so coldly.

“Idiot.”

I shook my head as I watched myself walk away steadfastly. If I had been swept away by anger at that moment, such an incident would have occurred.

I kept my mouth firmly shut and saved my words.

The perspective shifted.

The scene continued to show Mikhail alone in a dark room within the reading room.

After the rain stopped.

And the sun rose.

Once again, the moon has set.

Despite the countless dates that passed on the calendar, Mikhail remained holed up in the dormitory, motionless.

“I’m sorry…”

In the darkness where no light entered, hugging his knees and worrying about someone who would not come, Mikhail was living his life.

Occasionally, someone would knock on Mikhail’s door.

“Mikhail, are you in there…?”

Yulia came looking.

“Mikhail, student.”

The professor came looking.

“Mikhail, if you don’t come out right now, you’ll be expelled.”

Shartiya came to urge him to continue his studies, but Mikhail had no thoughts of leaving his room.

“I’m trash…”

Mikhail had opened a notebook and sent a letter. The recipient was Ricardo. At the same time, he wrote unanswered letters to Lee Minhyuk, the owner of his memories, continuing to apologize.

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry.”

He wrote apologetically.

“I want to visit you, but I’m afraid you might hate it. So I write this letter. If you tell me not to send it, I won’t. If you say you don’t want to see me, I’ll leave. So please.”

He wrote the letter desperately.

“Just reply to me once.”

As he wrote letters that would never be answered, Mikhail’s darkness deepened.

***

“…The reading is over.”

They saw different futures.

A man let out a deep sigh.

“Haah…”

A woman was writhing in unbearable sorrow.

“No, this can’t be…”

They saw different futures, harboring complex emotions.

Love.

Jealousy.

Friendship.

The sheet music, filled with emotions too complex for words, put a period to the sorrow that seemed to stretch on endlessly.

Not a repeat sign, but a period.

“…”

Both closed their eyes, swallowed by thought.

*

-Drip.

Rain begins to fall.

-Drip-drip-drip.

Raindrops fell one by one onto the palm of my outstretched hand. The droplets that landed on my shoulder as I walked the capital’s streets soaked through my collar, slowly seeping in.

I smiled faintly and opened my umbrella.

“Damn.”

I thought it was wrong to speak.

I concluded that I could speak when I felt a bit more settled. After all, choosing the best over the worst seemed beneficial for the life of someone possessed.

“Sigh.”

With a small smile for the things that didn’t happen, I slowly strolled through the streets of the capital.

And then.

-…

Beyond the carriage road, a girl drenched in rain stood.

I walked towards her with a slight smile and, offering her the umbrella, greeted her.

“Miss Misa.”

“…”

“You’ll catch a cold.”

Mikhail looked at me endlessly.

“…I.”

Interrupting Mikhail, I smiled and said,

“Sword.”

“…”

“When you have time, come to learn.”

Her name was Misa.

And she was also my friend.