310 – Inside the collapsed tunnel with Mikhail.
I had a dream.
“`
—
A dream with him.
I dreamed of him smiling at me on the green lawn and having peaceful conversations.
How’s the weather today?
What happened?
Even though it was a trivial conversation, the dream felt really sweet.
I wished that time could last forever.
– Hahaha! Hurry up and follow me!
When Ricardo, who was beaming with a big smile, gestured to him, Mikhail smiled.
Even though it was a dream.
Even though it was a dream that would all turn to dust, I was happy to have such a dream at the last moment…
– Rustle.
At the sound of rustling in his ears, Mikhail’s eyes slowly began to open.
“Are you awake?”
“Ugh…!”
“Don’t move. We stopped the explosion, but we couldn’t completely block the impact.”
Mikhail let out a small groan at the pain that felt like his body was shattered into pieces of glass. Unable to move his body due to the immense pain in his legs, arms, and chest, Mikhail squeezed his sleepy eyes shut and struggled to open them.
‘Where… am I?’
It was dark all around.
The ceiling seemed so close that it was right in front of him, and a space where only two people could barely sit was drawn before Mikhail’s eyes.
And then.
When he saw the man smiling brightly in the dark space, his eyes widened.
It was Ricardo.
Ricardo, who he thought was dead, was burying something in the ground and smiling faintly as he greeted him.
“Are you awake?”
“…”
“You didn’t open your eyes for so long that I thought you were dead. Miha… no, Missa.”
Mikhail looked at Ricardo with an awkward expression.
“…”
It didn’t feel real.
Even the sight before his eyes.
—
—
The musty smell of earth in his nose was telling him that this was reality, but Mikhail couldn’t come to his senses at the sight of Ricardo smiling at him calmly.
Such a thing had happened.
He had suffered because of me, yet Ricardo was smiling, which Mikhail couldn’t understand.
“Ah… Ugh…”
Words didn’t come easily.
What should he say? What words should he start with? Mikhail, afraid of what to say, opened his lips with difficulty and spoke to Ricardo.
The first words that came out were.
“Is this a dream?”
That must be it.
Ricardo turned indifferently at Mikhail’s question, pulled his cheek once, and smiled.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?”
-Nod.
“Then it can’t be a dream.”
-Nod.
Mikhail, blankly touching the cheek Ricardo had pinched, nodded his head.
“It hurts.”
“Did I pinch too hard?”
-Shake.
“No. It’s just… my heart… it hurts.”
Mikhail’s eyes began to redden with the aching in his heart. The relief that he was alive and the gratitude that he was alive were pounding his heart like a tidal wave.
“Sniff…”
Tears were inevitable.
He was truly grateful.
“Sniff… I’m sorry.”
That he was alive.
“Why are you crying…!”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that the tears won’t stop….”
“No.. Oh dear… it’s just.”
Even though he knew he shouldn’t approach him because he had hurt him, he wanted to say at least one more word to him, so much….
“I’m really sorry.”
—
—
I was sorry.
How could I dare to speak to him?
What words could I use to comfort him? Knowing it was impossible, Mikhail hated and felt frustrated by his cowardly heart.
I wanted to know about him.
I wanted to ask what kind of life he had lived.
Because I wanted to know more about him.
“…I’m sorry.”
I knew it was shameless.
But still.
I wanted to be greedy.
“I’m… I’m really sorry…”
“It’s awkward.”
“And… thank you so much for being alive…”
At the moment when the person he thought he would never lose again was right in front of him, Mikhail, unable to control his emotions, hugged Ricardo tightly.
“Sniff… sob…”
“Why are you crying? You barely made it back alive.”
“Sob… sob… huff…”
How much time had passed like that?
Mikhail, who had stopped crying, found it difficult to calm down with Ricardo’s comforting touch.
Ricardo wiped the tears from Mikhail’s eyes and smiled softly.
“Were you very surprised?”
“…Yes.”
“Did you think I was dead?”
-Nod. Nod.
“If I died that easily, I wouldn’t even be called a Swordmaster. Look.”
Ricardo pointed to his torn shirt and showed the disappeared wound.
“See? It’s gone.”
“Sniff…”
“Why are you crying again!”
“The scar… the scar.”
—
—
Mikhail pointed at Ricardo’s scar with his finger, his eyes starting to redden again.
“Huuu huuup…”
Ricardo, with a troubled expression, hurriedly covered his body.
“This is… well, an old injury. I’ve lived a rough life…”
“Because of me…”
“No, that’s not it…! Wait, no. It is true, but…”
“Right…”
“Ah… no, that’s not it.”
Seeing Ricardo’s flustered appearance, Mikhail’s face crumpled even more. It felt like all the scars were because of him. The thought that it might be true made Mikhail’s heart ache even more, and he rubbed his eyes as he lowered his head weakly.
“Was this your image originally?”
-Nod. Nod.
“The image you show at the academy…”
“Sniff… At the academy… because I’m a man. To look strong.”
“No… huh.”
Ricardo sighed deeply and spoke to Mikhail.
“No, why did you disguise yourself as a man in the first place? You could have lived proudly as a woman.”
“That’s because… Ikuminhyuk knows me as a man, so I thought if he was alive, he would recognize me.”
“Oh dear…”
Ricardo, grasping his throbbing head, muttered to himself. ‘At this rate, isn’t the protagonist of the novel me, not Yuria?’ he mumbled.
Ricardo, the extra in the novel who hadn’t even appeared in a single line, tried to hide his flustered heart and spoke to the tearful Mikhail.
“Stop.”
“…Sniff. Hiccup…”
“Let’s stop crying.”
“Sniff… okay.”
“Good. Now let’s have a serious conversation.”
Ricardo looked up at the completely blocked sky and spoke to Mikhail.
“We are trapped.”
“…”
“We managed to stop the explosion, but we came down deeper than expected, so it’s hard to dig our way out. I called a friend, but it’s someone you know too, Mikhail…”
“Sniff…”
—
—
“Why are you crying again!”
“It’s because of me…”
“Well, that’s true, but still.”
“Sniffle…”
“Why! Again!”
“Name…”
Mikhail, who was more tearful than expected, was now pouring out the emotions he had been holding back.
“My name… isn’t Mikhail.”
“Oh. Then, Miss Misa.”
“Hehe… You called me Misa…”
“Why is your face turning red?”
“…Hehe”
Ricardo sighed and shook his head at Mikhail’s unfamiliar behavior, thinking that Mikhail’s head must have been seriously injured by the falling brick.
“Sigh…”
Suddenly, Mikhail leaned in close, startling Ricardo, who quickly stepped back.
“Wha… What are you doing?”
“I’m checking if you’re hurt… Sniffle.”
“Didn’t I show you already?”
“Your heart might be hurt too.”
“What…?”
“…Yes.”
What is this.
Ricardo frowned as he watched Mikhail speak nonsense seriously.
“Mr. Mikhail. No, Miss Misa.”
-Nod.
“Did a brick hit your head, or is Yung still alive… No, I just asked that, so that’s not it… Anyway, are you okay? Specifically, your mind…”
“Sniffle… Yes?”
“No, no… Don’t start crying again. It’s not because it’s strange, it’s just that I can’t get used to it.”
“Am I that strange?”
“Yes.”
—
—
“Then…!”
“Yes.”
“Shall I die…?”
Ricardo was startled and shook his head at Mikhail’s serious expression as he was about to commit seppuku.
“Why is the conversation going in that direction!”
“Because I’m a burden. I thought it would be better to repay with my life.”
“Ha… This is difficult. Really.”
“…Shall I die after all?”
“I said don’t! And why are you suddenly using formal language?”
“I usually use formal language well.”
“Why didn’t you use it with me?”
“…”
Unable to answer, Mikhail awkwardly smiled and lowered his head.
“As expected. I should die.”
Ricardo waved his hand again at the sight of Mikhail seriously staring at the tip of the sword, wondering when he had taken Tyrfing.
“Let’s talk! Let’s talk first.”
-Nod. Nod.
“Today has been full of surprises, so my head is a bit dizzy. Honestly, I was worried about how to face you, Mikhail… No, Misa.”
“…”
“I was worried it might be awkward…”
“Sniff…”
“Stop!”
-…Nod
Ricardo awkwardly smiled at Mikhail’s unexpected reaction.
“Anyway, I’m sorry for surprising you.”
“No… I’m more sorry.”
-Tightly…
“I know there are still many things I need to apologize for, but… I really wanted to apologize for today.”
“You will have to keep apologizing.”
“…I know.”
—
—
Mikhail, who had only been making a sad expression, hardened his expression at Ricardo’s words and replied in a serious tone.
“I will continue. Until I die… Until you push me away, I will continue.”
“…”
“The wounds I gave you… They don’t heal easily.”
Ricardo lightly closed his eyes at Mikhail’s serious demeanor and smiled with difficulty. He didn’t know how to resolve it, but for now, it seemed like this was all he could do in this situation.
He couldn’t just question recklessly.
He couldn’t scold him for why he did it.
Ricardo thought it was best to stop the reprimand at this point.
Seeing Ricardo maintaining his silence, Mikhail cautiously opened his mouth.
“Lee…”
“Lee?”
“Lee… Minhyuk…”
“…Your pronunciation is still awkward. I’ve told you several times, but you still can’t get it right.”
“…It’s hard to pronounce.”
“Lee. Min. Hyuk.”
“Leeikminhyuk?”
“Oh dear…”
Mikhail finally smiled faintly at Ricardo’s sigh filled with laughter. There was only one person in the world who would correct that pronunciation.
Mikhail looked at Ricardo with tears in his eyes.
“Hey, Leegege Minhyuk.”
“Call me Ricardo.”
“Then, Ricardo…”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me…?”
Ricardo smiled silently.
“You knew. That I was Mikhail…”
“…”
“If you had told me, I wouldn’t have hurt you. No… Maybe because I’m a worthless person, it wouldn’t have changed….”
Ricardo interrupted Mikhail’s words. He didn’t want to hear any more self-deprecating words.
He spoke to Mikhail in a calm voice.
—
—
“Because it looked good.”
Ricardo lied to Mikhail. Possessor. Status window. He knew that even if he talked about such things, they wouldn’t believe him. It was also taboo.
“It seemed like you were living well enough, so I didn’t approach. Misa was living well without me.”
“…”
“Just as Misa wanted to succeed under the name Mikhail, I wanted to succeed in my own way and then approach.”
“…But still!”
“And then we grew apart.”
“…”
“Resentment piled up.”
Mikhail clenched his fist.
It was true that he had inflicted an irreparable wound.
There was a lot left.
The parts that were knotted in each other’s hearts.
Things to apologize for.
And the relationship with him.
There were still many stories left to resolve. There was no need to rush. What was important was that they had taken the first step.
He didn’t think this knot would be untied all at once, but if he could make even a small excuse.
“I…”
That alone was enough for Mikhail.
“I did something terrible to you.”
“…”
“I trampled on someone you cherished.”
“…”
“I ignored the path you were on and disregarded your advice. Maybe… No, Ricardo, I hated you.”
“I understand because I also played a part in it…”
“No. It’s because I’m a bad person. It’s my fault.”
Mikhail shook his head at Ricardo’s words and pushed forward with his stubbornness. No matter what anyone said, this stubbornness was a weight he had to carry.
“So… I will keep apologizing. Someday, when I become a better person…”
At the moment when Mikhail’s true feelings were about to come out.
-Rumble.
“Huh.”
Ricardo reached out to protect Mikhail from the trembling vibrations of the floor. Mikhail, in his current state, would find it difficult to withstand this shock.
“Dangerous….”
-Squish.
“Hmm?”
‘Miss? No, a bit smaller than that….’
The moment he felt the soft sensation, the lewd thoughts in his mind vanished with a moan from someone’s mouth.
“Ah…”