Chapter 101 – The Day Before

“You’re late again, Lope.”

“…”

“Get down.”

“Ha…”

Boring daily life. Ring of power.

“Ugh, what should I do? Ericaaa!”

“Ha. Really.”

“I’m late because my tie keeps getting tangled! I’m not going to check for tardiness, right? I’m not really late, right? Huh?”

“Okay. Okay, let’s go in quickly, Logeria.”

“As expected, it’s Erica! Then I went in… Wow, what kind of idiot was there?”

“…”

Tilted definition. An abyss without salvation.

“Rogeria is still the same. I don’t know why this normal kid always acts like that.”

“…”

“In that respect, you’re still the same. This is already the third time you’ve been late this week, Lope. Are you feeling something?”

“I…”

“I don’t want to hear it. So write a reflection. It should be at least ten pages long.”

A world that is particularly cruel to those who are ignored and marginalized.

“Then disappear now.”

“…”

I’m tired of it all now. In this world where most people love and are loved, I am alone and dull. When I hold the torn heart with both hands, only cold wind comes out.

Can youth without passion also be called youth? A life like a machine that moves according to need and acts according to inertia. I already predicted that today would be a meaningless day.

Is a human named Lope destined to live quietly like this and then die without anyone knowing?

While I was mocking myself, someone’s sharp cynicism tore through the air.

“… If you had whined for help now, I would have helped you!”

“…”

“Then try your best, you dumb bitch!”

When she turned her head to where the sound had come from, she saw the girl’s body stuck together with her desk. Her leg was broken, and on the surface of the desk, where the surface had been chipped away, were dozens of letters engraved like a stigma.

I have to buy it. Another colleague slipping into the abyss in an asymmetrical classroom. Next to the broken desk, wet and messed up books were also strewn about.

But even today, she remained silent despite all the hardships. I muttered blankly as I watched her silently moving her desk, as if everything was because of her own sins.

“… It would be heavy to move it alone.”

It’s a fairly simplistic impression. There was too much luggage to carry alone, and there was not enough time. It was clear that without someone’s help, she would not be able to get to class on time.

And now the only person who could help Saya was me. I felt skeptical about who was helping whom, but it didn’t seem to be a particularly important point. Anyway, there is nothing to do right now and nothing I want to do.

So, wouldn’t it be a good idea to reach out to someone who is in a similar situation to me? It was also a moment that felt like fate.

A cheap fairytale-like story about saving one’s own life while saving others.

But when I was about to call Saya’s name, someone’s voice grabbed my ankle.

“Lope. What are you doing?”

“Huh?”

“What are you doing here?”

“Uh…”

It was Lena. For some reason, she was looking at me pointedly while holding a box in her arms. In an unexpected situation, I had no choice but to stop.

“I don’t know what, but are you busy?”

“No. It’s not like that.”

“Then quickly go to the classroom. Class will start soon.”

“Yeah…”

“Why are you looking at me like that? What’s on my face?”

Well, this is the first time you spoke to me at the academy. I was about to answer like that but then closed my mouth. I didn’t think it was something worth saying with my mouth.

Meanwhile, Saya was already quite far away. Of course, I could help you if I ran now, but before that, Lena tilted her head towards me again.

“Rather, if you’re not busy today, let’s go to the forest for the first time in a while. How about?”

“I…”

“I understand that.”

She even smiled for some reason and then quickly disappeared towards the building without anyone seeing. Because it was an unusual experience, I stood there for a long time and couldn’t move.

Why is it suddenly acting like that? Did I look pitiful today? Or did you want to make a change in a relationship that has been maintained for decades?

Or maybe I just felt like that today.

“…”

Meanwhile, Saya had already disappeared. Now even if I wanted to help, I couldn’t.

“Ugh… Acquaintance, I had a hard time today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m really busy with exams, but the professors keep trying to make me the team leader and all…”

“I see.”

“The team members were all famous for not listening. I was so annoyed that I was dying.”

“…”

Square.

The sound of leaves hitting your shoes is chilling today. Is it the sound of leaves being kicked by a child? I endlessly swam through the waves of fallen leaves and breathed empty breath into the sky.

“Ha…”

Although there is no breath coming out, it is still cool weather. Autumn, when your side feels empty for no reason. It’s the perfect season for a loner like me.

“… Hey Lope. Are you listening?”

“Huh?”

“Are you listening, uncle?”

But today, an extraordinarily beautiful girl is walking next to me. Her name is Lena. She is the same age. Although she has been her friend for many years, she still finds it quite awkward to walk together.

That’s probably because this relationship, which seems friendly at first glance, is actually tilted to one side.

“Now that I think about it, it’s been a while since we went for a walk together like this. Right.”

“It’s been almost two months.”

“But I’ve been very busy. I can’t help it.”

“… Sure.”

You don’t really care whether I’m busy or not. I calmly swallowed what I realized. To you, I was such a one-sided person that you didn’t have to worry about such trivial things.

In the past, I felt a little sad about it, but recently I have become quite calm. But every time I tried to become completely insensitive, Lena continued to crack my heart.

“But you’re the only one I can talk to openly like this. You know Lope, right?”

“Of course I know.”

“Why are you reacting so poorly? Is it because I haven’t been able to play well lately?”

“It’s not like that.”

“Really?”

“I know you’re busy too.”

“Hmm…”

Is it because the tone of speech was too dry? Lena looked at my profile with slightly narrowed eyes. After remaining silent for a long time, she suddenly wrapped her arms around me and came close to me.

“I guess I’ve been working out a lot these days. My arms have gotten a lot thicker?”

“Nothing like that in particular…”

“Isn’t it really a muscle? Isn’t it just a knot?”

“… Well.”

“Would you like me to give you a massage?”

The playfully grasping fingers gently dug into the muscles. When I pressed my body against hers, I could sense her body heat coming from our skins that touched each other unconsciously.

Deadly warmth. I collapse helplessly and close my eyes. In the first place, there is no boy on this island who would refuse skinship from a pretty girl like Lena.

“Wow. It’s not a lump, it’s a real muscle. Can I touch it, Lope?”

“… No.”

“What are you ashamed of between us? What are you embarrassed about now?”

Between us.

Before I could even think about those mysterious words, the warm feeling of my skin pressed down on me. She’s always like this. Before her mind can properly formulate logic, her body crushes her heart.

It’s too sweet to push away. However, my arms are too empty to escape.

“The weather is chilly. Let’s stay like this for a while.”

“I think it’s too close.”

“I always went around like this when I was young.”

“That’s right. Indeed.”

“It was a good time. Right.”

Lena casually crossed her arms and rested her head on my shoulder. If someone saw this scenery, they might mistake it for a walk between two young lovers.

Even I am like that. If you approach me with such a sense of distance, I will arbitrarily mistakenly believe that the feelings you are harboring may be love.

“We talked about a lot of different things. Like, let’s stay in the same class no matter where we go. Let’s go wake each other up every morning.”

“If I can’t find a spouse by the time I turn 30, I’ll just get married.”

“If that is achieved, then everything will eventually come true. Of course, it will never be as good as that.”

“Why?”

“You know, Lope, you’ll be the first to betray me. You’ve been hanging out with other girls these days. Are you talking about that junior girl, or Saya?”

“…”

I wonder if it can really be described as having fun. All I have done for them is simple kindness and compassion.

Normally I would have made that excuse, but for some reason I didn’t want to do that today. By the time I tried to figure out the reason, my lips were already moving uncontrollably.

“That’s right. Because you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.”

“Huh?”

“They are good kids too.”

“…”

At that moment Lena closed her mouth for the first time. For a moment, a look passed over my face as if measuring something.

But it wasn’t that long. She soon regained her smile and tapped my shoulder in amusement.

“Hey, you don’t really hang out with kids like that. You know.”

“…”

“Don’t give them hope for nothing. They are pitiful kids.”

I don’t know how to take this. Are you afraid that all the fish you caught will run away? Or maybe it’s because he really loves me.

Which side should I trust and continue this asymmetrical relationship?

Now I want to be sure. So I took my luck carefully.

“About that…”

“It’s already getting dark. Strangely, it feels like time goes by faster when I talk to you. Doesn’t it?”

“… Sure.”

“Let’s go in quickly. Security will be out soon.”

But the attempt failed so vainly. Before I knew it, Lena had escaped from my arms and was walking away, three or four steps away.

“Oh, by the way, I have to wake up early tomorrow. Can you come to my room in the morning?”

“…”

“Please do me a favor, Lope. Huh?”

Then, she suddenly turned around and made me a request again that I couldn’t refuse. Since the answer was already decided, she nodded her head obediently instead of wasting time.

“Okay, Lena.”

“After all, there is only you. I really love you.”

I was given a hug that felt like a reward. Her scent pressed against her chest disappeared in an instant, and she immediately waved her hand at me.

“Then see you tomorrow.”

“Yes. Tomorrow…”

“…”

“… See you tomorrow.”

The goodbye that couldn’t be conveyed was dispersed with a vain breath. I brushed away her fallen leaves with her feet, feeling the reverberation of the warmth she left behind.

“Ha…”

The twilight left by the departing sun is heavier today. After trying to sleep, weighed down by this darkness, I will wake up again and repeat a day like today.

If you live without any expectations like this, you will end up thinking that way.

“World, perish.”

…

I don’t mean it. It’s more like just a meaningless complaint.

It’s just pathetic that I can’t even express this ridiculous wish seriously.

“Whoa…”

Only after sighing again did I return to the dormitory. My small and shabby accommodation located in an awkward place on the edge of the island. After washing up and lying down, I immediately fell asleep.

If you wake up again and open your eyes, tomorrow will definitely be a day like today.

But the next day. I had a day I would never forget in my life.