Chapter 124 – Confession (2)

“Mom actually… “Changjae’s mother, no.”

… Yes?
Do you know?

Putting aside the questions in my head, my mother continued her story to herself as if she were making excuses.

“Mom, I didn’t mean to keep hiding it. She said she was going to talk to Changjae when he grows up… But Changjae suddenly left home and she went to the military, so mom didn’t have a chance to tell her, right? So mom…”
“Wait for a sec. “Wait a minute, Mom.”

The word “Mother” Came out without me realizing it.

“Mom, no, what are you talking about? Is it because you’re not my biological mother? Or are you saying that she is a different person from the mother I know? “Did she get replaced mid-way?”
“No, it’s not like that.”

Mom answered with a face that looked like she was about to cry.

Mom is not mom. That’s right. My mom is my stepmom, brought in by her father, and she is not related to me even a drop of blood.

Even though we have been living as mother and son in a formal way for over 10 years, I am not stupid enough to forget that fact. But she is not a mother, she says, as if making a major confession.

Something important wasn’t connecting between my mom and me. That confused me.

“Sorry. I’m sorry, Changjae. I didn’t mean to deceive you on purpose. “I’m sorry, Changjae.”
“Mom. “Please calm down.”

This time I hugged her mom, just like my mom hugged me.

My mother’s body was trembling in my arms. She said that for her mom to say this, it meant that she was that stressed.

“Mom. Mom said that earlier, right? “Even if everyone in the world is my enemy, she says my mom is on my side.”
“… Huh.”
“Me too. “Even if everyone in the world blames her mother, I am on her side.”
“Changjae…”

The tremors subsided from her mother’s body.

It’s something I’ve felt since she was young.
My mother is said to be an emotionally unstable person.

She doesn’t know if there is a clear name for the disease.
However, if you’ve been together for a long time, there are things that come naturally.
What topics does this person react sensitively to, and when do their emotions fluctuate rapidly?

The mother I saw was particularly afraid of her bugs.
And when stories related to ‘family’ came up, I became emotionally unstable.

“Mom. Shall we walk a little?”

It always bothered me that my mom had to stay in her house all the time. Because if she stays locked up, it’s easy for her heart to become sick. As a soldier, I know this very well.

It was the perfect opportunity to take a walk. I held her hand and walked through the front yard of her hideout.

“Look at this. “A flower bloomed where Piyak pooped.”

A dirt floor with faint traces of dinosaur footprints.
In the center of the footprints, a bud had burst and a white flower was blooming.
That was the place where Piyak had previously eaten his fill of seeds, pooped, and buried them.

“Ah…”

My mother, who had been walking unsteadily as if her heart was not here, led by my hand, saw the flower and her complexion brightened a little.

“Even though he looks useless, I guess he had some kind of ability.”
“Really… So cute…”

I squat down next to my mom and look at the flowers.
It was just an insignificant flower, but it was enough to calm my mother’s anxious emotions.

There are times when beeping helps with the topic.

“On the other side… “The garden is a mess.”

The place where the land had been deliberately prepared and the seeds had been planted was extremely desolate.
There were even traces of some sprouting and withering. It’s a natural result since they only planted it and didn’t take care of it at all. At least it might have grown well if it had been watered consistently.

“Would you like Mom to manage the garden from now on?”
“No. “It’s still dangerous out there.”

My mother became noticeably sullen at my answer.

But I can’t help it. Even if no beast comes near, there is a serial killer roaming around this island.
She can’t leave her mother defenseless outside when she doesn’t know when she’ll face it. At least you can do outdoor activities with peace of mind after you catch that guy.

“Mom. Are you feeling better now?”

It would have been nice to leisurely chat with my mother like this, but I had to finish what I had discussed.

“Huh… I’m sorry, Changjae. “You made Mom worry again for no reason, right?”

Mom was still passive, but she seemed a little more stable than before.

“I don’t want to say that. “We’re on the same side, right?”
“Huh. Mom is always on Changjae’s side, and Changjae is always on Mom’s side. Yes?”

Mom smiles happily and hugs me tightly.

As expected, Mom is lovely.
She’s a mom, why is she so adorable?
At least she wasn’t my mom…
… What?

“Mom.”
“Huh?”
“What did you mean earlier that you are not my mother?”

Damn.
Her mother’s smiling face suddenly felt like there was a big crack in it.

“Mom. Are you okay.”

Before her mother got confused again, I quickly hugged her.
Was it a little hasty? Her mother’s body was shaking again.

“Did I tell you? “I’m always on my mom’s side.”
“… Huh.”
“If mom says something, I won’t be angry or disappointed.”
“… “Are you sure?”
“Because it’s true. “Did you see your son lying?”
“I’ve seen it a lot…”

Umm. I lied to my mom a lot.

“I’m not really lying this time. So tell me, Mom.”

The trembling of my mother’s body as she hugged me stopped.
Mom slightly pushed me away and she took a deep breath and let out her luck.

“Actually, mom… “It’s not Changjae’s mom.”

She barely made it back to the beginning.
I nodded silently to show that I was listening.

“Changjae… Do you know what your father does?”
“… No.”

Is it from there…
Something bitter crawled up my throat.

“I see. This is mom’s fault too. Because mom didn’t tell me…”

Actually, that wasn’t the case.
That’s because I didn’t want to hear about my father.
Every time my mother brought up my father, I got angry and hated it.

Naturally, my mother stopped talking about my father in front of me. She couldn’t get it out.

“My father is actually a great person. You have a doctorate in biotechnology… “Actually, I don’t know if it’s difficult for my mom either.”

Even though I was older, I still hated hearing stories about my father.

Ah.
Hate.
Really.

Her mother’s smiling face as she talks about her father.
When I see that, my heart burns with ugly jealousy.
It was so miserable, I hated it.

Also.
Wasn’t it listening?

“He is very smart and does many good things…”

It was a story I knew up to that point.
Because I heard it from her own mother several times while she was alive.

But that wasn’t the story that came after that.

“And he is the one who developed a treatment that allows patients like us to live like normal people.”

If I were to express my late mother’s philosophy of educating her children in one sentence, it would be as follows.

‘Your father was a smart man, so you, his son, must be equally smart.’

Her biological mother’s requirements were extremely high and she made me sick as a child.
You could say that my hatred for my father sprouted at that time.

“My father…”

My father is a smart man. But he has an affair with another woman and doesn’t come home.

That’s all I know about my father.
From now on, the story that came out of my mother’s mouth was about my father, whom I did not know.

“Actually, my mom, she was a research subject at my father’s research institute. Subject of research to develop treatments for incurable diseases. In other words, she was one of the incurable disease patients that my father studied at the time.”

Of course, it was the first time I heard it.
Because I’ve never paid attention to what my father does.

“Fortunately, a treatment was quickly developed, and the mother and other patient children were able to return home. “I just had to go to the hospital once a month for outpatient treatment at home.”

Her mother’s smile somehow had a loneliness that she didn’t know about.

“But her mother had no home to return to. “She was an orphan with no family.”

Heavenly orphan. Laboratory. Research object.
For some reason, I had a picture in my head of parents selling their children with incurable diseases to a research institute.

“So when her mom had to go into her facility alone, Changjae’s father became her mom’s guardian. Her mom’s last name is the same as Changjae, right? “She is a saint and that is what she received from Changjae’s father.”

Although Kang is not as common as Kim, it is not a rare surname.
So she didn’t even think it was strange that her mother’s last name was the same as mine. But I never thought there was such a background…

It was confusing.
The story was going in a completely different direction than expected.

“… Well, why then…”

Where I first met her mom.
It was at her biological mother’s funeral.

‘Say hello. She is Changjae’s stepmother.’

That’s how my father introduced my mother.
This person is my stepmother.

Of course, he did not say that her father had remarried her stepmother or that she was his wife.
But if it were my stepmother… Isn’t it natural for me to take it that way?

“I’m sorry, Changjae. That too… Mom insisted on her. “I knew Changjae’s father was in trouble.”

Seeing me look confused, my mother cowered again.

“My ex-wife, whom I divorced, passed away. She has to bring her son, who was taken by the lady, and she says that even if she brings him, she cannot afford to take care of him… Besides, that son… “I hate my father so much.”

It is true that I hated my father.
If I had asked to live with my father, when I was young I would have said I would rather live alone.
It must have been a truly difficult burden for my father.

“So mom said. “I said, ‘I will become that child’s mother.'”

──Yes? How on earth do you come to that conclusion?!

My words got stuck in my throat and wouldn’t come out.
This is because she was shedding thick tears with an expression her mother had never seen before.

“Mom too… I wanted a family…”

Her mother broke down.